Zahra Gordon

This week in feminism takes us to San Fernando, Trinidad. High Street on a Friday afternoon, the sun setting and a weekend buzz slowly rising from the people rushing for taxis and liming on street corners. I find myself in the midst of the loud music, heavy traffic, lunchtime garbage, and crowds. So there I am, walking up High Street when a man taps my arm and then sort of grabs it and says, “Come let me tell you something.” OK. Needless to say, he ruined my sunset. 

I immediately turned around and said, “Why are you touching me?” Before Mister could respond his friend shouts out, “You racial!” OK black man, call me a racist. So I look at the offender and say, “Don’t touch me. You have no right to touch me.” The touchy-feely bum, then said, “You racial for real, boy.” I gave both him and his friend a middle finger while walking away. His friend said, “That finger real sweet.” (Because that’s not an objectifying statement at all…) On the next block, I walked right into a CD salesman set up with loud speakers blasting Kick Een She Back Door. The same song that advocates violence against women, which last week, I said should not be banned. 

My opinion hasn’t changed. And don’t think this song influenced to him to touch me. I think he felt comfortable abusing my human rights because in his eyes, it’s a non-issue, if even an issue at all. I am positive that he would not have grabbed some man he did not know on the street and then get angry  by a rejection. According to one of my coworkers, women’s bodies are not their own in this country. So men feel entitled to touch and vilify women to varying degrees. Low degree: tapping one random woman’s shoulder on the street. High degree: feeling entitled to sex with your wife after she has said no. 

Reflecting on the incident led me to re-read a blog post by Dr. Brittney Cooper of the Crunk Feminist Collective. She participated in a panel discussion at the Brecht Forum in Brooklyn recently speaking about the meaning of privilege, ally and comrade in progressive movement building. Dr. Cooper, has written about it here, but to summarize: she was assaulted by a fellow panel member and no one in the room stood up in her defense. What do I mean by assault? She was publicly threatened, screamed at, and had a glass of water thrown all over her. Brecht Forum, according to their website is a “cultural and educational center for people who are working for social justice, equality, and a new culture that puts human needs first.” But even in this progressively-labeled space, during a discussion about the meaning of working together, male privilege, entitlement and violent aggression reared its head. Not only that, but no one in the room said, at the time, “This is wrong. / Stop.” 

So as angry as I might have been at the Sidewalk Mister and his friend, are these attitudes and behaviors just to be expected? I was surprised the other day to have a conversation with a colleague who I used to describe as politically progressive speak about “women’s things” disparagingly. By thing, he meant rights. He believes women have nothing to advocate for (in terms of equality and social justice) and that female leaders tend to be “too emotional.” I was happy, however, to have a conversation with him about how my opinion on these issues differed.